Tonight, I continued my bad habit of watching the news, even the boring feel-good crap. When they got to the weather, I was only paying half attention until the weatherman said, "[Tomorrow morning] if you have outdoor activities, yes, you'll need a jacket, but probably not the reindeer."
I got my first real giggle from tv in about ten years...until he repeated his phrase a moment later, and I realized he'd said "rain gear", not "reindeer".
Sigh.
In other news, our house is completely unliveable. It needs $20k worth of work before we can be approved for a mortgage, and since the little monkeys desperately need a yard (cue screeching and grabbing the door handle and/or gate latch) we've started looking for cheap detached/single houses with 2+ bedrooms in pretty much anywhere in the philadelphia-montgomery county-bucks county-lehigh county area and IT SUCKS. I wish I could find a permanent place to live that didn't make me absolutely miserable within 4 months.
Also, what's with all the Chinese products being recalled? I saw Wal-Mart recalled Chinese dog biscuits recently. Is this a recent upswing in crappy Chinese products (unlikely), or is everyone just paying more attention in order to put pressure on the Chinese yuan (likely)? With Congress trying to remedy the trade deficit by force, who better to encourage the American public to buy from someone else than the people lining Congress' pockets? Hint: I'm talking about corporations. Come on, you really believe that the Chinese are suddenly making their products even more unsafe?
Speaking of advertising, have you seen God in the new Verizon commercials? What a strange advertising concept. Here's a quick synopsis of my least favorite ads today (in no particular order):
1. "Three new fits" of jeans that look painted on for anorexic teenage girls who believe sex is the answer to all their problems. (Old Navy)
2. Mr. Bean. Please stop him before someone gets hurt.
3. "Mr. Opportunity" from Honda. This is the cartoon man who claims he's knocking for you...and if you notice, his name can also be fudged as "Missed your opportunity." Hurry! SPEND MORE MONEY BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS!
4. Seen on a billboard: Sprite's new ad campaign appears to be derived from the earlier goofy "obey your thirst" slogan. There's only one problem with is. It's severe and dark, and features two words: "Sublymonal" (subliminal) and "Obey." What? Who thought that would sell soda? It just makes me depressed.
5. Seen in Dan Brown's Angels and Demons: Product placement for Nestlé Quik. Bah! Product placement is for Pepsi and Friends.
6. Movie ad: "Balls of Fury." Who needs another stupid fucking faux-sport movie?
7. Anything to do with Elmo. I love Elmo as much as the next person, but now that I'm a mother, I despise watching my innocent children being encouraged to become capitalists and consumers. I admit my complicity in their downfall (being dramatic), but when your screaming twin toddlers demand Elmo, you give them Elmo. Trust me.
8. Víva Viagra! Only the cool old men get to have SEX (not sexual activity!).
9. This one doesn't quite qualify as an ad, but it's close enough for government work. I have a particular hatred for it, too. As I was walking to buy diapers in CVS, I walked straight into a huge display of discount children's tapes. Heavy on the Elmo, of course. It was conveniently placed in the middle of the aisle, between two high shelves that my fat ass couldn't squeeze through. Stupid pharmacy managers.
10. Skittles commercial with a fat old man being milked. He's blamed for the sour milk because he eats too many Sour Skittles. Not only do I hate sour candy, but...eewwwwwwwww!
And your bonus commercial is one that actually interests me:
The mysterious movie preview for something called "September Dawn." What is this great untold story? Is it really untold, or just untold to people who can't read? More to come.
<3
